I'm home sick and recently woke up from dreaming about delicious fresh-made juice smoothies. I turned on the cable-less tv, hoping for Huxtables, but settled (for anthropology's sake) on The Young and the Restless.
The first scene grabbed me because it featured two beautiful blonde women talking in baby voices and dancing sexy with each other for the benefit of a watching hunk who said something like, "I could get used to this!" So I got a bit riled up, because, this is nothing unusal for other genres of programming, but when did soaps stop being about the fantasies of women?! Are even soaps now adopting this "hot women totally get lesbo--but not dykey!--on each other and this should be universally appealing to everyone including straight women" claim?
But then the hunk goes, "It's gettin' hot in here...I'm gonna have to get myself another coldie," and Ambrosia goes to get him a coldie aka a beer, and slips him a mickey. Oh-kaaay, now I see...it's a trap!
"I tend bar," he was saying.
"You could be one of those Thunder From Down Under* boys," Not Ambrosia said.
"Down under, ehhh?" came Hunky's suggestive reply.
In the next scene he starts stripping his shirt off, saying, "This is really...good beer," then collapses on the bed. They pants him and take his wallet, and then stage a fake Vegas wedding, where Non-Ambrosia (the less attractive gal) is in drag (as Hunky) but is still clearly a woman. (The marriage officer is played by Donna's dad from That '70s Show, looking very strange sans Afro.)
More interesting and sad to me was the portrait painted of the viewership based on the commercials. Judging by the ads, the women watching are:smelly:
Gas-X Thin Stripsincontinent:
Bladder control Enablex to "help reduce leaks and accidents for 24 hours"rickety:
"Hips: You love them, you hate them, but to stay healthy, you've got to protect them. Only with Oscal."sick or tending to sick:
Robitussen (finally, something that applies to me); Tylenol Sinus Pain; NyQuil and NyQuil Sinusmousey:
Loreal Preference hair dye; a Loreal Protectiv commercial using a Franz Ferdinand song; Natural Instincts haircolorirregular:
Benefiber; Dannon Activia for regularity (and Activia Light, of course)moms:
baby furniture at KMart; a spot with a fake reggae song featuring a white chubby family getting Manwich all over their faces; Kelloggs' Frosted Mini Wheats where it is implied that the new pink strawberry frosted mini-wheat is not manly enough or possibly gay but still delicioushousekeepers:
Clorox; Rid X for septics; Glade Scented Oil Candles; Mr. Clean Magic Reach (this actually looks handy, if wasteful, for lazy cleaning)
And the viewership doesn't apparently have any interests outside the home. There were no ads for entertainment (other than a few TV promo spots), politicians, banks, travel, electronics, or education.
*For the benefit of those who do not work at a naked man magazine, "Thunder From Down Under" is a Vegas-based male revue.
Labels: GIRL STUFF, porn office, rock